Socialist Pro-Abortion Blog, "TheWonkettes.org" Makes The Real George Washington Cry Wooden Tears

I'm a huge fan of American history, I'm often tempted to file HBO's John Adams and various Ken Burns documentaries in with my pornography collection. Over the years I've found that George Washington is many things to many people; for James Manship George Washington is a 4'2" blogger who posts nearly incomprehensible sentence fragments about how the Founding Fathers did nothing but masturbate to the term "Christian Nation" and is interested in, according to this blogspot profile:

Interests

* Dipshitary
* Founding Fathers I know nothing about
* Show Tunes
* Internet Fights
* Cosplay
* Inaccurate History
* Casual Encounters t4m
* Words with Friends
* Misrepresenting Thomas Jefferson
* BBWs

Note: If his current interests are not the same as above, he obviously updated them and does not prove that I made it all up.

Believe me, I wanted to make gay porn jokes because his last name is "Manship" but I, unfortunately, could not find a single gay porn movie named "Manship," so you'll have to make your own in the comments section.

Anyway... Wonkette and its goons took to the internets and found this guy:

(The one on the right who doesn't look sort of melted)

Then, as any Redcoat in his or her right mind would do, they proceeded to make fun of him for requesting people cum on pictures of Martha Washington on various anonymous image boards.

The internets is serious business.

I guess it could be worse.

So, I might be a sucker for free internet dating sites. I'm on OkCupid and Plenty Of Fish. Both have their positives and negatives, so since I'm single, I use both. You see a lot of the same people, but OKCupid has a gimmick: Tests. I know other sites have them, but with these tests you see how well you match up with people based on their answers. You can sort your matches by how well, or how poorly you match up with them.

A little tip on the right side of the site suggest I search by "enemy" and see what I find.

I found gold.

hippienikki (73% Enemy)

My Self-Summary
Hi iM NiKKi 19 ANd SiNGlE. i DONt gO tO SChOOl BEEN DONE fOR 2 yEARS. i lOVE SURFiN, RiDiN HORSES,fuckiin fishingg, FOURWHEEliN, RACEiNg.iM A VERy iNDEPENdANt PERSON. i hAVE BEEN HURt AlOt. iM A VERy SWEEt GiRl tHAt iS DOWN tO EARtH.i DO hAVE tHE BEStESt FRiENDS AND iM lOOKiN FOR NEW PEOPlE tO MEEt. i hAVE 6 PiERCEiNgS ANd 3 tAttOO.i HAtE CHEAtERS AND liERS.!

What I’m doing with my life
iAM GOiN TO SChOOl tO bE A VEt

I think Nikki and I could find some real common ground, if only she didn't make the "blown out asshole" pouty lips face.

believer58(60% Enemy)
My Self-Summary
As you can already tell i am a big christian i am a photographer and am studying to be a veternarian...

Let me stop there. What I think she meant to say is "As you can tell, my tits are awesome and it matters so little what the rest of this says because you're just looking at my tits, I wont even bother spell checking anything.

What I’m doing with my life
Doesn't fucking matter look at this picture of my tits.

It's unfortunate God didn't bless her with the tits she needed to be a "veternarian." While we are on the subject, I would like to thank God for plastic surgeons.

Under "What I'm doing with my life" she also said she is "majoring in missionary."
I think I will send her a message and thank her for writing the jokes for me.

mizzshawty (50% enemy)

My Self-Summary
il start off wit im erica.im currently stil livin wit da rents.im tryin tu live out 6 more months there but itz gettin hard. i belive marijauna shuld be legalized,including gay marriages.i love hangin out wit ma friends because they are basically my whole life(:i have alot of experience in both gender areas ;) and if yopu want tu know more hit me up[=

I had no idea gay marriage was a drug, I thought it was a marriage between people of the same sex. Something new every day, I guess.

What I'm doing with my life
im plannin on becoming a legal prostitute.lol but seriously you have to be talented tu work a pole so strippers shuld get credit

Admirable goals indeed and yes, they shuld get credit.



Thank you for the suggestion OkCupid Staff Robot.