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    Monday, March 1, 2010

    Socialist Pro-Abortion Blog, "TheWonkettes.org" Makes The Real George Washington Cry Wooden Tears

    I'm a huge fan of American history, I'm often tempted to file HBO's John Adams and various Ken Burns documentaries in with my pornography collection. Over the years I've found that George Washington is many things to many people; for James Manship George Washington is a 4'2" blogger who posts nearly incomprehensible sentence fragments about how the Founding Fathers did nothing but masturbate to the term "Christian Nation" and is interested in, according to this blogspot profile:

    Interests

    * Dipshitary
    * Founding Fathers I know nothing about
    * Show Tunes
    * Internet Fights
    * Cosplay
    * Inaccurate History
    * Casual Encounters t4m
    * Words with Friends
    * Misrepresenting Thomas Jefferson
    * BBWs

    Note: If his current interests are not the same as above, he obviously updated them and does not prove that I made it all up.


    Believe me, I wanted to make gay porn jokes because his last name is "Manship" but I, unfortunately, could not find a single gay porn movie named "Manship," so you'll have to make your own in the comments section.

    Anyway... Wonkette and its goons took to the internets and found this guy:

    (The one on the right who doesn't look sort of melted)

    Then, as any Redcoat in his or her right mind would do, they proceeded to make fun of him for requesting people cum on pictures of Martha Washington on various anonymous image boards.

    The internets is serious business.

    Friday, February 26, 2010

    I don't typically support dress codes, but




    via: Failblog.org

    Wednesday, February 24, 2010

    Good evening.



    Just Amazing

    I guess it could be worse.

    So, I might be a sucker for free internet dating sites. I'm on OkCupid and Plenty Of Fish. Both have their positives and negatives, so since I'm single, I use both. You see a lot of the same people, but OKCupid has a gimmick: Tests. I know other sites have them, but with these tests you see how well you match up with people based on their answers. You can sort your matches by how well, or how poorly you match up with them.

    A little tip on the right side of the site suggest I search by "enemy" and see what I find.

    I found gold.


    hippienikki (73% Enemy)

    My Self-Summary
    Hi iM NiKKi 19 ANd SiNGlE. i DONt gO tO SChOOl BEEN DONE fOR 2 yEARS. i lOVE SURFiN, RiDiN HORSES,fuckiin fishingg, FOURWHEEliN, RACEiNg.iM A VERy iNDEPENdANt PERSON. i hAVE BEEN HURt AlOt. iM A VERy SWEEt GiRl tHAt iS DOWN tO EARtH.i DO hAVE tHE BEStESt FRiENDS AND iM lOOKiN FOR NEW PEOPlE tO MEEt. i hAVE 6 PiERCEiNgS ANd 3 tAttOO.i HAtE CHEAtERS AND liERS.!

    What I’m doing with my life
    iAM GOiN TO SChOOl tO bE A VEt


    I think Nikki and I could find some real common ground, if only she didn't make the "blown out asshole" pouty lips face.



    believer58(60% Enemy)
    My Self-Summary
    As you can already tell i am a big christian i am a photographer and am studying to be a veternarian...










    Let me stop there. What I think she meant to say is "As you can tell, my tits are awesome and it matters so little what the rest of this says because you're just looking at my tits, I wont even bother spell checking anything.



    What I’m doing with my life
    Doesn't fucking matter look at this picture of my tits.







    It's unfortunate God didn't bless her with the tits she needed to be a "veternarian." While we are on the subject, I would like to thank God for plastic surgeons.

    Under "What I'm doing with my life" she also said she is "majoring in missionary."
    I think I will send her a message and thank her for writing the jokes for me.


    mizzshawty (50% enemy)

    My Self-Summary
    il start off wit im erica.im currently stil livin wit da rents.im tryin tu live out 6 more months there but itz gettin hard. i belive marijauna shuld be legalized,including gay marriages.i love hangin out wit ma friends because they are basically my whole life(:i have alot of experience in both gender areas ;) and if yopu want tu know more hit me up[=




    I had no idea gay marriage was a drug, I thought it was a marriage between people of the same sex. Something new every day, I guess.

    What I'm doing with my life
    im plannin on becoming a legal prostitute.lol but seriously you have to be talented tu work a pole so strippers shuld get credit


    Admirable goals indeed and yes, they shuld get credit.



    Thank you for the suggestion OkCupid Staff Robot.

    Tuesday, February 23, 2010

    Stop listening to Jenny, she is putting your children in danger.

    I'm sure everyone is aware of Jenny McCarthy's personal crusade against vaccines, or specific vaccines, or certain additives/preservatives like Thiomersal. Since there is no credible scientific study to back up her and her followers baseless cause, it's difficult to figure out what specifically they are against.

    Lets start with Thiomersal. The concern here is that it is a mercury based preservative. Mercury is toxic, yadda yadda. The use of Thiomersal was stopped in 1999, as a preventative measure in all vaccines except for the Flu.

    Thiomersal's main use is as an antiseptic and antifungal agent. In multidose injectable drug delivery systems, it prevents serious adverse effects such as the Staphylococcus infection that, in one 1928 incident, killed 12 of 21 children inoculated with a diphtheria vaccine that lacked a preservative.(source) Unlike other vaccine preservatives used at the time, Thiomersal does not reduce the potency of the vaccines that it protects. Bacteriostatics like thiomersal are not needed in more-expensive single-dose injectables.

    [...]

    There is no convincing evidence that Thiomersal is a factor in the onset of autism. Despite this, many parents, and some scientists and doctors, believe there is a connection. Parents may first become aware of autistic symptoms in their child around the time of a routine vaccination, and parental concern about vaccines has led to a decreasing uptake of childhood immunizations and an increasing likelihood of measles outbreaks. More than 5,000 U.S. families have filed claims in a federal vaccine court alleging autism was caused by vaccines, most implicating Thiomersal; the majority of these claims are still being adjudicated. The U.S. federal government agreed to award damages in one case, to a girl with a mitochondrial enzyme deficiency who developed autistic-like symptoms after receiving a series of vaccines, some of which contained Thiomersal. Many parents view this ruling as confirming that vaccines cause regressive autism; however, most children with autism do not seem to have mitochondrial disorders, and the case was conceded without proof of causation.


    It's easy to dismiss Thiomersal as a danger because of this fact:

    In the United States, countries in the European Union and a few other affluent countries, Thiomersal is no longer used as a preservative in routine childhood vaccination schedules.(Source) In the U.S., the only exceptions among vaccines routinely recommended for children are some formulations of the inactivated influenza vaccine for children older than two years.


    AND

    Most conclusively, eight major studies (as of 2008) examined the effect of reductions or removal of Thiomersal from vaccines. All eight demonstrated that autism rates failed to decline despite removal of Thiomersal, arguing strongly against a causative role.


    Thank you Wikipedia. With only the basic details we have easily removed the threat of Thiomersal from the anti-vaccination crowds list. If only Jenny McCarthy would use the Google once in a while. What is also quite fantastic is it makes that idiots other claim that Chelation Therapy (a process of removing heavy metals, like mercury, from your system) is effective in treating autism all that much more ridiculous. Furthermore, there is no scientific study to support this idea. (source)

    Jenny McCarthy has also said she gives her son B-12 shots and keeps him on a strict diet which she says has helped him "recover." How does she know this? Well, she says: “My science is Evan, and he’s at home. That’s my science.” Simply incredible.

    Why hasn't "big pharma" latched onto this miracle cure and raked in the money? I guess those MMR shots are where the real money is...

    The next concern is overdosing, like the MMR (Measles, Mumps and Rubella )vaccine. The concern here is that it's too much at one time. It overloads the childs system and suddenly he falls into some wide ranging spectrum of autism that can result in simple social awkwardness to card counting in Vegas with your jerk brother.

    This has been effectively dismissed as well thanks to the fraud Andrew Wakefield. Whose 1998 Lancet paper on the subject of MMR and Autism has been shown to be complete garbage (that's scientific jargon)

    Two down. How many to go? Honestly, I have no idea. The alternative medicine, pharma conspiracy crowed is ever evolving. It's difficult to say what other stupid nonsense these people will come up with, but I'll be sure to make fun of them childishly every chance I get.


    Parents: Please, for the love of your children, get them immunized.

    While you're at it, be sure to visit the Science-Based Medicine blog: www.sciencebasedmedicine.org

    And subscribe to the Quackcast podcast at www.quackcast.com

    Monday, February 22, 2010

    Dear Apple iPhone Development Team

    The iPhone needs profiles, work, personal, etc... Similar to user profiles on standard operating systems. You see, I would like to sync my work information, but I do not want to mix it with my personal information. The last thing I want to do is drunkenly email a picture of my dick to someone I've been talking to about migration to a bigger, better and more expensive application.

    This idea is free to you Apple. Take it. If the useless piece of shit iPad is any indication the ol' mind grapes are drying up.

    Utter Bullshit

    For more on that Read Nate Paschall's post, he sums it up better than I will.

    Saturday, February 20, 2010

    YouTube Doubler

    Amazing.

    Forever.

    And ever.

    Friday, February 19, 2010

    Sarah Palin Named Her Child "Retarded"

    Just sayin':

    When Werewolves Cry

    Crazed Twilight fan cries for justice, accuses Universal Pictures of ripping off the idea of werewolves from Twilight and then questions the use of silver bullets and then inexplicably sends the email to a Latino Review.

    I wish I could say this is shocking:

    This movie was a complete waste and I feel that it offends ALL Twilight Fans around the world, that including myself. For one, it was a COMPLETE remakingof the Wolf Pack from the Twilight Saga: New Moon. It gives the werewolves a bad name and makes them look like some deformed mutation of a rabid dog. I actually started to like werewolves after seeing Jacob Black and all his awesomeness on the big screen at the movies. That was until I saw your crappy remake of what you call to be a "were wolf". I don't see how you live with yourself for making it the way you did. If I made this movie, I would be ashamed to even admit that I owned it. How can a werewolf be killed with a silver bullet*? Better yet, have you saw the transformation of the man that is "supposed" to be the wolf? He sits in some chair and his entire body turns in to some mutated freak. If you would watch the transformation of Jacob Black, (Taylor Lautner) he doesn't come close to looking as fake, cheap and or mutated as the wolf man. You tell me, who looks to be the better werewolf. Your stupid Wolf Movie didn't even make the top Movie for the charts; Valentines Day WITH TAYLOR Lautner! Get that this is MY oppinion and I felt I wanted to express it because I saw that your email was on your site. I wanted to let you know this is what i thought of the wolf man that sucks.
    FREAKIN LAUTNER DID!
    TEAM JACOB- cuz hes a REAL WEREWOLVE!


    Hope you can live with yourselves, Universal, Benicio Del Toro and time traveling George Waggner.

    [Source: Latinoreview.com]

    Sometimes they surprise you

    If you know me, or my politics -- and if you know me you DO know my politics, you know that I'm proud of labels like "Progressive" or "Liberal" and even sometimes "Democrat" (but not often.)

    I bring to you a video clip that seems to indicate something the current Conservative party does not often display. It's similar to tolerance, I think.

    You see, there is this terrible motherfucker named Ryan Sorba, he likes to talk about the "Born Gay Hoax." If you Google his name right now, you'll learn that he is a "Spicy" (extra gay) Google trend.

    Ryan Sorba was asked to speak at CPAC (Conservative's Penis Anus Connection*) about... Who knows really what he was supposed to talk about. Probably reading some Ronald Reagan fan-fiction. Ryan Sorba is a representative of California Young Americans for Freedom; an awkwardly named organization that does something stupid and is supported by equally stupid people.

    As it turns out, Ryan Sorba is too hateful for even the folks at CPAC:



    *It actually means something far less juvenile, but I'm too tired to look it up.

    A Mediocre Suggestion

    I'm not very good at Friday nights.

    I don't know what happened to going out and hanging out with people. I still have about 45 minutes, so I might swing by Filthy's just to see what is going on.

    Anyway. If you get a moment; do yourself a favor and listen to this podcast:
    Website: A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan
    RSS: feed://amediocretime.libsyn.com/rss
    Twitter: twitter.com/amediocretime

    Thursday, February 18, 2010

    So. It starts.

    Frist!






    I'm going to Chili's. Otherwise this first post might be longer.